Some Incompetent Useless Person: Thanks for calling So & So, my name is Useless and Unhelpful. What can I do for you?
Me: (deep breath) I need this thing. Do you have it?
SIUP: Sure! I’ll check on that for you. May I place you on a brief hold?
Me: That’s fine.
**15 minutes of hold music later**
SIUP: Thanks for calling So & So, my name is Dizzy Bitch Who Can’t Do Her Job, What can I do for you?
WORKING IS SO STUPID I JUST WANT MONEY TO BE DELIVERED TO MY APARTMENT WHY IS THAT SO HARD.